The Winooski — Vermont’s premiere local satire site — is founded and edited by Adam Hall. 

MONTPELIER – Doubling down on what he calls his “Paid Family Stay Program,” Vermont Governor Phil Scott has vetoed the paid family leave legislation passed by the state legislature. He then vetoed the minimum wage increase as well, noting that it could cause people to move out of state.

“Once again, the Democrats are trying to get families to leave,” Gov. Scott insisted, “while I am willing to literally pay tens of thousands of dollars to get people to do the opposite. It honestly feels like they are just doing this to be mean to me. But it does feel good to give old Veetsy some exercise again.”

While vetoing the minimum wage increase, Gov. Scott told onlookers that raising the minimum wage would result in the poorest of Vermonters having more money, which would be disastrous for the state.

“If people have more money, they’re going to be able to afford to move somewhere else. It’s basic economics. What we need is for families to be stretched thin, no money for maternity or paternity leave, and low wages. Think of all the extra money pumping into the economy via childcare, anxiety medications, and therapy appointments! This bill is getting a VETO! Or as my grandson likes to say, a YEET-O!”

After he was done vetoing everything he could get his hands on, the governor then asked pointedly why the Democrats are unable to get any meaningful legislation passed through into law and wondered if maybe Vermonters should vote red in the next election.